I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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