...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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