Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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