He is an equal opportunity slut.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
