Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
