She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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