Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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