Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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