Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize