Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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