Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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