I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We are all done wearing pants today
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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