btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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