It's Friday. Sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
