Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
