Will you blow on my dice?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
