Pappa wants mamma naked
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
