You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
