She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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