Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
