I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
