Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
