my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
