remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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