I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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