i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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