walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
