My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
