Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
