I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
