does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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