dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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