I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
