i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
