I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize