dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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