just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize