I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
