what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
