The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
