You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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