I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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