I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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