I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
