Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
