everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize