so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
