Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
