Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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