is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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