have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
His nipple licking is glorious
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