hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
