your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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