Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
