hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
