Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
