So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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