Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
