So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
