You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
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