Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
