Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we're so committed to being not committed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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